I treated myself to a bit of a lie in this morning, as a birthday treat so now it’s nearly ten am and I’m sitting here sipping my morning latte and considering my day, and how it feels to be embarking on my 6th (!) decade.
I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer, but this day comes with an awareness that I am no longer at the top of my game as it were, and yet, I also am probably more content, more accepting, more comfortable in my ow skin (saggy as it is) than I ever have been. I don’t miss the angst of my teen years, the searching of my twenties or the pressure of my thirties. My forties were rich and full and as I look back, I think it was that decade where I really began to feel comfortable with who I am, but on the other hand, I also felt pressure to accomplish. As I entered my 50’s that pressure to “do, do, do” resulted in returning to school, starting a second career, becoming a Grandmother, ending a marriage and becoming a caregiver, renovating a house and doing some travel. Now, as I peer into the future, I see the next ten years unfolding before me as a time of settling into my identity, of learning how to “be”.
I’m not one of those fabulous 59 year olds who is fit enough to compete in marathons, or take on long hikes or bike trips, but I do enjoy a certain level of physical activity, swimming, golfing, canoeing, My stamina wasn’t what it was when I was 40 or even 50, but that just gives me an opportunity to stop what I am doing and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
I enjoy good food, and am to the point where I’m willing to live with the possible health risks rather than miss out on the culinary delights that give me pleasure. (And, I can always take a long walk afterwards.) I’ll never be rich, but I think I’ll be comfortable as I approach my retirement. I enjoy reading and learning and that I’m looking forward to having more time to explore those things. I’ll probably never find the perfect purse, fit into those size 8 jeans, be totally organized, have a spotless house, or grow orchids, but that’s ok. I have learned how to compromise, accept my lumps, bumps and crape-y skin, be flexible with my time and embrace the inevitable distractions that come my way. I know that I don’t need to worry about becoming a hoarder and my house is usually presentable enough for company, and that I don’t really like houseplants.
I want to spend the next 10 years learning to simply “be”, to enjoy the gifts of each day, to discover the joy of being present to each moment and experience. I don’t have a sense of wanting to leave a legacy, that’s already been done (for better or for worse), I think that my 60’s are going to be fabulous after all!